Tuesday, June 8, 2010

some people need a filter

I had been warned to expect comments, but really, nothing prepares you for the stupid things people say. I have been approached in stores, airports, and even by waitresses in restaurants. It seems that being pregnant invites conversation, wanted or not. Trust me, most of the time, it’s not.

Now, before I go on, I really don’t mind the well wishes, words of congratulations, or even a few questions; it’s the follow up that irritates me.

Always, always, always the first question. Everyone wants to know if it’s a boy or a girl. Fine. It’s a girl. A proper response is “congratulations, how wonderful, you must be so excited.” Anything else will lead me to believe you were raised in a barn, by wolves. I do not want to hear of your disappointment, do not want you to tell me that girls are harder to raise than boys, or that I might be surprised when the baby is born. Seriously? To the last one, I often feel like saying, huh, don’t think so, considering I’ve had over 20 ultrasounds, by 6 doctors (and a few techs), on at least 10 different ultrasound machines and in two countries. I think it’s safe to assume that we are having a girl, and we are THRILLED!

I’ve had people not only ask if I’m having twins, but also again with the “you might be surprised, there might be two”. I’ve not said it, but would love to inform the idiots that we had actually transferred two, one didn’t implant, and yeah, thanks for reminding me. A**.

Then there are the comments about my belly. One person insisted that I must be having a boy because of how I’m carrying the baby. Nope, it’s a girl. Followed by asking several times if I’m sure, see above. Not one week later someone else asked if I knew what I was having and when I answered a girl, was told that, “yes, you look like you’re carrying a girl.” Make up your minds people.

If you are a waitress taking my order in a restaurant, I do not want to know about your surprise pregnancy, how you told your boyfriend the news, or about your labor experience. I especially do not want you to return and share, in detail, your stories of morning sickness, during the salad course.

Then there was the little episode at the Chicago airport. I politely asked the man at the information desk where the closest Starbucks was located. He looked at me, then asked if I “should be going there?” The only response I could muster was that my crack dealer was fine with it. Now, I’m all about pregnant women being careful and taking precautions, but after 10ish hours of travel at 32 weeks, I’m fairly sure that my doctor would be okay with me having one caffeinated drink. I certainly don’t need the judgment from a man working at the information booth in an airport. Plus, as my mom pointed out, Starbucks has a lot of other things besides espresso. No need to be so quick to judge.

Okay, thanks for letting me vent.


  1. It always seems like people have unsolicited comments/advice no matter what your situation. Whether you're TTC or already pregnant! We just can't get a break! Whatever happened to just being polite?!

  2. Just caught up on all of the crap you have going through....so glad you are back here!

  3. Geenie some people!! Let them be my friend, soon the only thing that'll matter will be the baby in your arms!

  4. Man girl what idiots! I have only had a few stupid useless comments from real life people here, and they have been in Arabic at that, so I just act like I don't know what their saying. (I DO understand and its crazy sh*t let me tell you.) It seems that people, not cool, IF challenged people "like us", but regular folks who have no probs or planning in having a baby always have the most to say. I too am thinking about going home to have our baby, so I should get ready huh? I think I would have had to be alittle pregnant hormonal b*tch to that waitress though. Hang in there girl. Vent away, we are always here. xoxo

  5. I entered this site by chance, but I found very interesting. A greeting to all the people who visit this page.

  6. Ah, yes the comments...makes me not want to leave the house at all!

    How rude about the information desk guy...seriously, you can get much more than coffee at a Starbucks, plus it's none of his business!

    Glad you're here safe and sound!

  7. Idiots! Really he had an issue with Starbucks? Seriously?

  8. Gah! Unsolicited comments are the worst. Sorry you had to deal with them.

  9. I totally feel for you on the caffeinated drinks. My first pregnancy, I had a total stranger start shouting at me when I had a Starbucks cup in my hand...

    it was decaf. Also, I was in Washington, DC, where I practically got ran over crossing the street every day. And she thought COFFEE was the enemy?

    Just ignore them the best you can. Oh, and did I mention my horrible labor story?... ;) Just kidding.