bcps, I hate you

During our 4 ½ year marriage, I have never taken bcps. I also didn’t have to take them for the first IVF. Apparently it’s standard protocol for this clinic, so here I am, on bcps.

They are HORRIBLE! My face is broken out, I feel like I’m about to crawl out of my skin, and the hunger, oh the hunger. I can’t stop eating. I try to trick myself with big glasses of water, hot tea, broth-based soups, anything to feel full. Nothing works, I just need to eat. Fortunately we don’t keep junk food in the house and I don't have a sweet tooth, so I’m only eating healthy food, but still, way too much food. I’m terrified to step on the scale. I know I’ve gained weight. The thought of throwing prednisone into the mix in a few weeks is terrifying. Follow that up with IVF meds. Eek!

Fortunately with the compromised immune system I’ll be on house quarantine, so yoga pants and t-shirts are acceptable attire, but considering that I never lost the 20 pounds from the first IVF cycle, I’m not looking forward to the additional weight gain.
::whimper::