change in plans

My husband and I had a big talk last weekend and decided to change our plans. We were originally going to start another IVF with our clinic in Dublin soon. However, I’m just not ready yet; and yes, I realize how absolutely absurd that sounds. Considering that we have been on a forced break for the past year due to everything that happened (more on that in the coming weeks) and considering my age, it’s probably not the best decision to put it off, but I need to.

Infertility patients are already a very stressed out bunch, and in the past year I’ve had the additional stress of multiple moves, and that other thing we won’t mention until next week. IVF success rates are considerably lower in patients who have high amounts of stress. I just don’t see the point of spending that much money and putting my body through IVF again when I’m as stressed out as I am. I need to be in a better place, emotionally and physically.

The next month or two is going to be crazy around here. There are still a few house issues we are dealing with, my husband is going to have a lot going on at work, and we have guests coming. Fortunately we agreed that they need to stay at a hotel, but it’s still a bit stressful, particularly since there aren’t any firm plans yet. I know which days they are arriving and leaving, but that’s it. I don’t know how much time they are spending at our house, how much time they expect/ want to spend with us, if they expect us to show them around, nothing. Honestly, the timing of the trip is really awful too. My husband can’t take time off of work (these are relatives on his side), plus they will be here for two very painful days (anniversary of what I’ll talk about next week and Mother’s Day). I'm covered in hives just thinking about it.

After discussing schedules and all of the things we have going on in the next month or two, we decided it would be best to hold off on our next IVF. I just can’t have additional stress or visitors during that process. My husband, wonderful as always, said he completely understands and to just let him know when I’m ready.

If you are only reading my blog for the infertility aspect, please come back in July. If you are planning a trip to Dublin and would like to see us, we would love to meet you for lunch or dinner, but we just can’t do anything more than that right now. We sincerely hope that our situation will change later this year. Thank you for understanding.